I think it’s important, and quite therapeutic, to track and write down your thoughts about quitting smoking as the days progress.
This is why I’m going to share with you EXACTLY what is happening during MY experience.
It feels good to vent it all out, and at the same time helping others like YOU, who are struggling with addiction and are looking for someone they can relate to.
Today was actually quite horrible, from beginning to end. I still feel awful.
Yesterday, I smoked 2 packs of cigarettes, so I knew today would be hard. I knew as soon as I woke up, I’d be craving one. It was the first thing I thought about. I even forgot that I had quit.
How ridiculous is that?
I thought about smoking first, and then I realized I had quit (which nicotine wants you to forget), and that left a depressing thought in my mind.
Why was it depressing?
Because nicotine brings all the negative thoughts forward, ESPECIALLY upon waking up on Day 1. Its main goal is to make me feel as horrible as possible as if to say “How dare you quit!”
Today was one big, painful craving. It’s not painful in the same way that pinching yourself is painful, or cutting yourself. It’s not like that. It’s more like a bruised feeling, an inner soreness.
It’s your body shutting down.
My breathing was pretty horrible all day. My stomach became distended, and that put pressure on my lungs. My lower back hurt because I couldn’t breathe properly.
During the first part of the day, I was really dizzy, almost to a point of feeling faint.
The early cravings were so intense, and I was so dizzy, that I just couldn’t believe it.
I do feel that the longer you remain a smoker, the worse off nicotine withdrawal will be for you.
I don’t believe for one second that the pains of withdrawal from a smoker of 1 year is the same pain from a smoker of 15-20 years.
The duration is the same, physical withdrawal lasts around 3 weeks, but the intensity can vary from one person to another.
I just finished up 18 years, so my cravings and pains are pretty insane.
Work was horrible.
Withdrawal makes you a crazy person.
I couldn’t really smile all day long, I was too busy concentrating on being in pain. I couldn’t really hold a conversation, or even contribute to one, because my breathing was so bad and I just didn’t feel like talking.
My entire being was 100% affected.
My co-worker asked me today if I was feeling OK, because I was sick last week, but I lied to her and told her no.
You see, I’ve quit smoking so many times in my life, only to end up relapsing, that people don’t take me serious anymore.
No one believes me, they snicker and laugh, and they say the old cliche “I’ve heard it all before.”
There is truth to both sides. I know that. I know it’s stupid to keep starting and stopping so many times.
But I can honestly say that it’s because nicotine controls my every thought.
When I get home from work, all I do is smoke, one right after the other. When I wake up, the first thing I do is smoke.
I don’t go to the gym anymore, because once I start smoking during the day, I feel ashamed about it, and very unmotivated to go workout, so I stay home (and smoke).
I literally have no energy to be active, because cigarettes have taken it all away from me. Yet I still find time to smoke.
I’m still coughing up a lung, it’s disgusting. I’m always spitting when I walk down the street. I’m always trying to clear my lungs out.
That’s not very attractive if you ask me. I don’t feel I’m date-able, because I feel terrible about being a smoker and living my life controlled by it.
My apartment smells like an ashtray, all my clothes smell like stench. Even the inside of my backpack smells like smoke.
It’s embarrassing and I HATE IT!
When I smoke, I drink way too much, and I gamble. If I’m smoking, I’m most likely going out to a bar, and that’s just the way it is in my life.
Recently, whenever I relapsed, I was potentially (and hopefully) smoking for “just one night.” I always promised myself that I’d quit tomorrow.
But tomorrow never came.
I’m in a constant cycle of “going out with a bang” and “ending it all” by smoking as much as I can, to become as disgusted by it as possible.
However, the more I smoked the night before meant worse pain the next day when I started Day 1.
I had 2 packs last night, and today has been awful. Very painful! I’m still in pain, although I know I will feel somewhat better tomorrow. It’ll still be bad, but not like today.
Day 1 is always the worst.
At least I know I can do it, though. I made it through a double-shift at work, and if I can do that and not smoke once, I can do anything. It really is sad that I continue to keep relapsing, because Day 1 is just an awful day.
Why do I continue to keep putting myself through this torture?
People probably think I’m just a space cadet, but what they don’t know is that I’m almost always going through withdrawal.
I know my life is going to be absolutely incredible, because I’ve lived it a few times. I know that as soon as I get over the physical, my life turns around 180 degrees and great things start happening.
I want my life back!!! I’m so mad that I don’t have it.
I’m taking it back.
Day one, here I go again. I can’t believe it. My best friends husband shot himself in the head on June 20th. He was my husbands best friend. My best friend had been smoke free for 6 months. Needless to say we both started smoking. She quit smoking again a couple of weeks ago and I quit today. Today hasn’t been too bad but I fear the worst is yet to come. I am not looking forward to this again. 50 years of smoking was a long time and now I have to reprogram myself again.
I just passed 24 hours without smoking! I’ve been in a constant battle with myself all day long going from telling myself how good I would feel if I could just have a few hits to telling myself don’t listen to that because its a lie. I will admit its not as hard to quit cold turkey this time around as it was when I quit a few months back. Btw just wanted to mention to you all that I quit cold turkey in Oct 2021 and was going strong on day 71 and feeling fabulous! I made the mistake of smoking one cigarette on that day and little by little it was one more then one more! YOU KNOW THE STORY! Thank God I got smart after 2 weeks and put an end to this once again. TODAY IS DAY ONE BUT I THINK I WILL BE ADDING THIS NEW START TO MY OLD ONE BECAUSE I ONLY FELL OFF THE WAGON FOR 2 WEEKS AND NEVER SMOKED OVER 5 DURING ANY OF THOSE DAYS!
This is a nightmare all over again with the withdrawl and I see I’m going to have to get more support once I am at 2 or 2 months because I went back to it when I was freed from it….
This is a great place to come so you can post what’s going on and I hope more people continue to post.
I would be curious who posted who is still a non smoker and I also would love to hear the people who fell off the wagon as I did. IM BACK ON THE WAGON THOUGH!!
Hi yes I’ve done months free then started again so I’m back on day 1 so so annoyed with myself.i put on near 10 kilos too an didn’t loose it when I went back to smoking.so I feel annoyed and gross oh and poor. I’m in Australia and smokes so expensive.how are you coping?
Hi Rach, you don’t even want to know. I blew another quit of 28 days…Oh that’s not the end of it either. I quit again after that and got to day 14….I’ve now been smoking for 30 days. I’m quitting once again tonight at 7:00 pm which is another 30 minutes from now. Thank God I only have one cigarette left so its going to be perfect day and time to once again get back on the merry go round I’ve seem to have gotten on….
The important thing is I’ve quit all 3 times and was strong enough to get through it each time. Its just after I’ve kicked it I end up wanting one and get sucked right back into smoking again for a week or two…This time I went 30 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No sense in getting upset. I did what I did and now I start again…..I hope your doing good and didn’t go back to smoking once again….
If you see this post let me know how your doing….Wish me luck!! 🙂
Laura Knight says
Good evening Mateo. I have not looked at your Facebook page before tonight. I just watched your video about Buddah passing early in your quit, and then the other cat having seizures in your kitchen. My heart broke. I have 4 cats that come in and out of the house all day for affection and to eat and drink. They don’t like to stay in and the cat population in my community has become a problem for some neighbors, the new neighbors anyway who don’t have pets. Today one of my cats has not been here at all. Her name is Precious but I call her Miss Piggy because she is always hungry and eats more than the others. We found out tonight that someone here is trapping cats. I’m devastated. Precious is gone. I don’t know if she was trapped and taken away, or killed. She’s very friendly and has “never met a stranger” She’s not afraid of other people like most cats are. The neighbor at the front of our community ended up with all his cats being killed. He found them dead in his yard, one by one. Our other 3 are now miserably inside, but we have a large catio that we are expanding tomorrow. We’re making it outdoor friendly as much as possible while still keeping them confined. The sky is the limit for my babies! Anyway, I had a few moments when I thought of smoking but didn’t. It would be so easy with my husband smoking. All I have to do is roll, one but I’m not. Thank you for always being there for all of us. You’re amazing.
Thanks for the kind words and congratulations on making it this far. Glad it’s all behind you for the most part. Just stay strong cuz you’re not out of the woods completely just yet. Takes a couple more months. Just a slight mental craving here and there, and nothing to worry about, but they still do happen. Good goin!
Laura Knight says
Mateo, Thank you, as always.
Laura Knight says
Okay, I’m taking my life back too, again. This is day one BACK on the wagon after falling OFF the wagon, after 10 weeks ON the wagon! I just really missed the action of smoking, but now that I’ve went and done it, it’s reaffirmed to me how much I don’t want to do it. Back to square one!
You can do it for real this time! You’ve figured it out.
Laura Knight says
Thank you Mateo. You’re so awesome.
Taking your life back that is what I am doing I stopped for 95 days and started back it’s been over six months if smoking I was t my life back I really do
Have just come across your post and the many posts people have posted.
I am on my 4 th day of cold turkey.
I Seem to be doing ok, the cravings when they come are strong but I am riding the waves.
My husband is a Smoker so I am living with a smoker. I can’t make him give up, he has to want to do it himself. I hope once he sees I am doing this he may follow.
I have smoked for 40 years and it’s now time. I have booked a hair appointment today with the money I have already saved. I am planing to get fit and spend sometime on myself. One step at a time but I hope I can do this.
Good luck to each and everyone of you,
I come here often, it’s been 9 months, I quit cold turkey in September 14th 2020 due to a panic attack after over exertion and not being able to inhale deep enough to catch my breath.
I gave myself dyspnea and asthma. The dyspnea only comes on when I am outside working. The asthma with tight chest and plugged nose and shortness of breath however has been with me since the day I quit.
I am better.
I can sleep, I can eat, I can taste and smell better than I could when I was 12 years old.
I’m 25 now. I smoked for 13 years out of a pipe. Unfiltered.
I have an inhaler now, I rarely use it because I don’t want to have to live like this.
After I quit it got so much worse and it only can get better from here.
I did so much strenuous damage to my lungs it’s like I smoked a pack a day for 30 years. It will take some time to heal but I know it will come.
I unfortunately can not exercise or jog because of the asthma. The fear of passing out from not being able to breath.
It will pass.
I promise to myself I will heal.
I stopped 6 Feb 2021 an started again not long ago i had family issue an used that as a justifiable reason to smoke..now im back on day one and cant believe im here again. I found reading your daily comments an everyone elses helpful an inspiring.so here we go again….
My Day 01 on Cold Turkey. Time is too slow…
Thank you for this page. Surely I will keep coming back.
Hope you’re doing good. I quit September 14th cold turkey. Been 9 months now and tbh I keep coming back here.
Hi Matt, thank you so much for your 30-days smoking cessation journal! It has been really helpful for me in the last couple of weeks. I have one question though: Is this journal from when you quit cold turkey or is this from when you quit using the electronic cigarettes? Thank you.
Good question! This is when I quit cold turkey. When I quit using ecigs, it was MUCH easier. Like black and white.
So I’ve already quit I’m on my 35th day, but I just wanted to let y’all know that if you get severe heartburn or acid reflux from quitting go out and buy some Oil of Oregano get the one that is 25% oil of oregano and 75% Extra virgin olive oil as 100% will burn you so it has to be diluted. Then get a glass and put about a double shot of water in it with 3 drops of oil of oregano. drink it and you won’t have acid reflux or heartburn. It’s a natural antibiotic, natural Fungicide and a natural antiseptic I got told about it by my dad then I looked into it and this stuff is great. I used to try Mylanta and Tums which destroys your stomach acid, and I noticed that It made my heart burn and acid reflux even worse the next day and would last for quit awhile it sucks. you can buy it on amazon. Oh and the first couple of times you use it, it kind of burns like a hot pepper just have a shot of milk or soy milk on stand buy. Good luck to everyone, you can quit, I was a 2 to 5 pack a day smoker for 25 years. I wish I would have found this stuff my first week of quitting.
Vicky Ramsurrun says
I am on my 17th day of quitting smoking.
I’ve tried to quit 9 times now tomorrow will be number 10 the longest I’ve made it is 6 days. At the six day mark my brain was going to what I could only describe as a flash back when I was 20 (im 40 now) and camping and smoking and drinking and feeling good it seems the flash back lasts for 10 min then I snap myself out of it, and 5 to 10 minutes later I would be back in a different flash back. I’m a hardcore smoker anywhere from 1 – 5 packs a day depending on how much I have to do that day. I started when I was 17, but due to feeling like crap all day I just want to be free of this drug. what made me fail this last time was people asking me daily how is it going with quitting, pretty much making me think about smoking. I’m not telling anyone this time that I’m quitting. The hardest part for me is finding things to occupy my time cause it seems when I quit 1 minute takes an hour to go by. Stay strong everyone, and tell yourself to FO when you feel the craving.
March 28, 2019 is my one year anniversary for being nicotine free!
I quit cold turkey and couldn’t have done it without this web site.
The mind set and mental prep that I gained from reading your posts are what helped me stay strong and beat my nicotine dependence.
Nothing really happened to me on the first day. I was already lightening the nicotine load. I did change the day at the last minute… or, a last minute decision to change the day. I quit on a Tuesday. I did a little research about the timelines and nicotine withdrawal. I was a little surprised to learned that for me… I should quit in the beginning of the week.
The punchline is… August 21, 2018 @ 10:40 is my quit day. A Tuesday… weird, right? Yes, this is weird. See Day Two Remarks for the reason for the changes…
Oh, I’m doing this at ‘Cold Turkey.’
im on day 7 here. Im really happy to have made it to the 1 week mark. Ive been smoking on and off (mostly on) for 20 years now. Recently turned 40 and enough was enough.
The first day was the worst. I was having full on arguments with myself to not allow a cigarette. I mustve looked crazy. I also probably walked 7-10 miles that day just to release the energy.
I kept telling myself “These are the battles i HAVE to win” over and over whenever the craving happened. I also wrote a note to myself to read when I was craving. It worked.
Its such a monumentus challenge to quit but in the end it will be an equally monumentus achievement.
Keep at it guys!!!! You can do it.
This is my 10th and hopefully, (help me god!) last attempt!!! Have had a pack a day for the last 15 years. Am 36 M.
Day 1 complete, no cigs, no gums.
Having tea every now and then, spending some time with my 4-yr old son. Have a strange cough that kicks in every now and then. But can feel a clean source of energy brewing up inside me. Not sure, if it is craving but am feeling very energetic and just simply clean! Give me all the power to keep moving on!
I am on day 3ish. Unlike other times I’ve tried to quit, this time, I didn’t start the day as an ex-smoker. I’ve been prepping myself for a few weeks (although not really believing I could do it). A couple days ago, started like every other. Around 8:45 (I start work at 6:30am) I smoked my last one of the pack, said “Fuck it, I’m done” and threw my lighter away. Started panicking a little. Got a piece of nicotine gum. I’ve had one in my mouth almost constantly since then. I’ve been a smoker since I was 22. Sunday I turned 44. 1.5-2 packs a day. I am truly done. I don’t know if everyone feels this way when they finally quit. But this time, there was no doubt. There was a mental switch. I wasn’t already planning how I could cheat if I needed to. I was just done. It hasn’t been easy. But its over.
Im almost at the 24 hour mark. And like you I have quit a 100x before. This will be my 101st time. I watched the season finale of my favorite show and bawled like a baby because I love to cry lol. And I love sappy tv shows. But I craved a smoke thru the last 20mins. Realizing it was the last show until new year made me think, im sad. What will I watch now? I need a smoke! And i argued with myself the whole time about this…the struggle is real! Im hoping to make it thru another 24 hours. But im also thinking about that pack of cigs in my purse right now and how to cope with that demon tomorrow morning. Will i leave them at home or will I take them with me? What will I do with myself on my coffee breaks and at lunch now. Im afraid. Im worried that I will feel weak if I give into having one…. This sucks.
Just vape on 6% 3 weeks then 3% for a couple of weeks then 0 you are free to give up vaping if you want to . Its realy that easy
Hi, I stumbled across your page / blog tonight, after spending the last few days thinking about quitting, AGAIN!! Like so many others, I’ve failed so many times. I want this time to be different! I’m 33, mom of 3 kids ages 12, 8 & 7. I’ve been a smoker since I was 13. I smoke an average of 2 packs a day and have for the last three years. Before that it was about a pack n half or so a day. I feel like wanting to quit and stumbling across your page and reading it and relating to it so well, is just a sign that I am ready. I pick tonight I PICK TONIGHT…. that’s right, I PICK TONIGHT! I am in CONTROL of this. Please wish me luck. I would like to create a blog but don’t know how. I think I will just comment on each on of the days with my days feelings. I hope to meet and talk with others.
On day 3 here, don’t know why all caps cant turn off i promise I’m not yelling, lol. But anyway, I’m determined to stop this time and am glad to have stumbled across your videos on YouTube! Toothpicks and gum are helping with my Oral Fixation right now.
Today is day 1 for me after being a long time smoker and quitting a million times like you and so many others. Today is different though because I’m truly done now. Getting ready to go to Hawaii in three weeks and I’m not going there as a smoker and hang out in front of the hotel with all of the other smokers like I’ve done so many times in the past. This time I’m going to spend more time on the beach and in the water and no time at all hanging out with the smokers and forcing my non-smoking husband to keep me company while I do so. Every hour today, I text my husband to tell him I made it another hour. Thank you so much for this wonderful blog and a place for all of us to find support.
Matt, I’m On day 6 cold turkey, 2 packs a day before. Have quit 100 times before, but rarely made it past 24 hours. I can relate to 100% of how you described the chain smoker life and your hate of cigarettes. Last time i quit for 2 years and (as you describe it): my life turned 180 degrees. Back to gym, back to good nutrition, regular sleep, excellence at job. Looking forward to all of this again. But Today is just one big constant craving. Good project Matt!
Tomorrow will be my first quit day. Sadly, I have done this many times but always had 2 cigaretts to start the day. Not tomorrow. All your Words have encouraged me . Here’s hoping i make it and it’s not too late. I am 67 and have smoked since I was 16. Thanks again.
Good luck quitting. It can be done!
coleen gordon says
Mary congrats woman, it is never to late to quit . I have been smoking for 44 years and am on day 4 lol. Wow what a battle, but not as intense as watching our loved ones die from this disgusting drug. Hate sickeretts.
I would like to know how long before all the nicotine will be out of my system? I quit for a job interview and full intend to stay smoke free but I am wondering is 10 days enough for it to be out of my system? I need some real answers this job is very important to me and I have read many answers on this subject.
I say it’s around the 3 week mark. I’m sure you’ll read about it being out of your system in a matter of days, but in my opinion, you can still have some massive withdrawal symptoms between the 2 and 3 week stage. Stay strong!
Hey, I’m already done 30 days. It’s my 32nd day. But i have shortness of breath sometimes, it is possible Or not?. I’m. Really scared
Of course me it’s possible. 30 days is just a benchmark. You’ll be facing little things here and there, especially triggers you haven’t faced yet, for up to 6 months. Might only be a once a week occurrence, but you certainly aren’t all in the clear after 30 days. That’s just a benchmark.
ABSOLUTELY INSPIRING MATEO, THANKS YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!
I AM ON DAY 6 RIGHT NOW, HAD A 2 PACK A DAY HABIT. I WILL BE READING A LOT MORE OF YOUR POSTS IN THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS I AM SURE!
Smoking is stopping me from exercising and eating clean because it’s hypocrisy if I am sucking filth all day long. I work from home so triggers are all over the place. My hubby is reluctant to quit so even more triggers. Between the ages of 19 and 45, I’ve dedicated 16 years to smoking and two quits totaling 10 years. I thought I was an expert….the addiction is really nasty. I second the cold turkey way, Allen Carr is a great resource, helped me make the mental switch the second time. I smoked with the patch, Zyban made me feel worse. So yes to killing this demon once and for all. I have nothing to lose, nothing to quit really, and just so much reward to look forward to. Thanks again Matt. I feel supported. Much love
I am on Day 1. OMG I am going crazy from it! The kids don’t help, either. I’ve been chewing gum all day so I can keep my mind off it. But it comes back to me that I need a cig really bad. I’m gonna beat this for me and my kids. My kids ask me “don’t you want to live to see your grandkids?” I said yes. I am only 34 P need to do this and I know god will be with me on this. He is helping me and giving me the power to fight it.
Thinking of you. I am quitting tonight. 34 min of 3 and they worry be like no other. Hope your doing good!!! Hang in there.
Thank you so much for these pages. This is the absolute most honest stop smoking page i’ve ever been on. it’s spot on with what is happening and not ‘oh it will only last a minute, walk it off’ kind of way.
34 year smoker on day 3. long road ahead but this helps a lot.
Thank you!! That’s what the internet needs though, is real, honest life stories. Please share!
So glad I found this!!! I’m 36 and have been smoking since I was 17. I also work in a restaurant! Oh I feel u!!! Thank u for this! I am on day 2, holy lord I feel like I’m going crazy. But it can only get better! And I don’t want to go through the same withdrawals again!
Thank you so much for posting the link to this. I’ve been reading for over an hour now and can relate so much and just reading it is helping. I quit at the BEGINNING of the year and relapsed week 2 then quit for 2 days then relapsed again. I’m hiding it from my boyfriend because he gave me an ultimatum and that just makes me want to keep smoking not stop. I just went and smoked my last cigarette before bed because i know if I wake up and have one it will be another day of smoking. I ran water over the remaining smokes. I’ve never done that. I’ve always finished the pack. I mean why would I waste cigarettes? It felt good. Like I was SAYING no. You’re not in control. I am! You are my inspiration and i needed you and your story at this very moment. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I will be reading and re-reading this over the next few weeks. I know I can do this. I know I am strong enough. I want to live. I want to be a non smoker. I want to be free!
Thank you so much Sin, that’s amazing to hear from you! Yes, I got cigarettes wet over and over all the time while I was in my depressed, quitting stage. It’s the only way to start fresh. You can’t save cigarettes, your addiction is too powerful for that. You can do it Sin! I believe in you! Perhaps keeping a journal of your own experience might help yourself. It’ll keep you accountable. Keep in touch, and ask questions if you have them!