Well, I have to admit, today was just as bad as Day 1.
All the intense physical and psychological withdrawals came back with a vengeance and made my day absolutely horrible.
Every part of it was pretty much terrible.
After having such an easy time the last couple of days, I should’ve known better than to think it would be smooth sailing from here on out. I was totally wrong!
I woke up with immediate stomach pains, a distended stomach, trouble breathing, and even a slight cough! I even thought I was getting sick, that’s how awful I felt.
My allergies came back, too, and although that has nothing to do with withdrawal, it just added to my extreme discomfort all day.
I was not a happy camper.
Plus it was the beginning of my work week, so I really had nothing to look forward to.
The worst part of today, however, was not the physical pains I was having on and off. It wasn’t the mind tricks nicotine was playing on me. It wasn’t the stressful situations at work, either.
Withdrawal gives me horrible anxiety attacks.
When I say horrible, I mean REALLY horrible, almost to the point of panic.
I never used to have anxiety. I never had it before I was a smoker, and it really didn’t emerge until a few years ago, after I had been a smoker for many, many years.
I didn’t have anxiety in high school. I could perform in front of the entire student body and not sweat at all, or be fearful of it.
A few years ago I started having these moments at work, where my voice became monotone, and I had trouble communicating.
I couldn’t smile, I produced an extreme amount of saliva, and I was becoming fearful of talking to people.
I hated confrontations.
I put two-and-two together and realized I was having anxiety.
I was doing some research on the subject and I found out that nicotine withdrawal involves anxiety, and is one of the most common symptoms.
I couldn’t believe it!
When I’ve tried to quit smoking before, after a few days, the anxiety DOES go away, and that just proves my point that it all revolves around nicotine.
It makes sense.
When you’re going through withdrawal, you are stressing out your body, and when you’re stressed out, you’ll experience anxiety.
Eliminate nicotine, and you’ll eliminate stress. This is absolutely true!
Cigarettes cause stress and anxiety. It’s one of the main causes of anxiety.
I couldn’t even smile at work, or hold a conversation.
I wasn’t even in a stressful situation.
Even the walk to the bus stop after work was dreadful.
It was like anxiety had taken over my body. The physical pains in my stomach felt like they were eating me alive.
It really felt like Day 1 all over again, and yet this was Day 8.
The past 2 days for me were wonderful, full of amazing, positive thoughts. I really felt like I was moving forward in my life.
Not today, though.
Today felt like a nightmare come true.
It was everything I hated about withdrawal all rolled-up into one big disaster of a day.
I’m so glad I made it home safely and it’s almost over with. I can still feel pain in my lungs.
The anxiety is gone, but it always goes away when I remove myself from the stressful situation.
People believe it is, but once they haven’t lit up for a while, their body starts craving one and they start freaking out.
Then they smoke a cigarette, and the cycle continues.