Today was not as great as yesterday was.
I basically had anxiety all day long, and even though that didn’t necessarily translate into cigarette cravings, I still felt out of touch with myself.
It started as soon as I got to work, and didn’t go away until I finished later on tonight.
I hate it so much! It’s the worst feeling.
I’m not even sure if it’s nicotine-related or not. Yes, there were a few moments today when I actually felt some physical withdrawal, which was attached to the anxiety.
Then again, maybe I’m wrong and it CAN be totally nicotine-related. Perhaps I’m still not 100% over my addiction yet. That would make sense since I was still having cravings today.
They weren’t severe, but they did exist. I’ll admit that right now.
Quitting smoking is very hard! Sometimes I think it’s impossible, especially if the cravings keep up.
However, I’ve come this far already, I’m not going to throw it all away and start all over, just because of some tiny craving that realistically only lasted about 20 seconds.
In reality, that’s all it was.
Of course I dwell on the fact I’m still having them, and focusing on the negative, instead of focusing on the countless positives in my life since I quit smoking.
So now, that I’m home safe and sound, I have no anxieties, no stress, no cravings, no nothing.
I will be making it to tomorrow, and that’s all that matters at this point. I shouldn’t concentrate on how much anxiety I had today.
Did I have any yesterday? No, I did not. Well there you go.
It’s not like it’s an everyday occurrence.
Was nicotine to blame for it? Absolutely!
Is it to blame for ALL of my anxiety? No, it is not, and I shouldn’t feel that I’m going to get rid of it all by not smoking cigarettes.
Yes, I’ve dropped the attacks down by about 80%, and I am quite content with that number. It’s just depressing that I still occasionally get them, because other than being nicotine-related, I have no idea why I’m getting them.
They often occur when I’m not stressed out at all!
Anxiety just appears at random moments, that don’t seem to be triggered by anything.
However, I could be wrong. I just haven’t figured it out yet.
The only real thing I can do for myself right now is to never smoke again. That will help tremendously.
But, tomorrow is another day. Who knows what great things will happen?
I could wake up completely nicotine-free tomorrow and have the best day of my life!
I shouldn’t be dwelling on what happened to me today, because underneath it all, I should feel proud of myself for making it through another day without lighting up. That’s the main issue! That’s my main goal!
I’m sitting here right now and I couldn’t care less about smoking. It’s just the furthest thing from my mind.
A stupid anxiety attack? In terms of the big picture, it means nothing.
All that really matters is making it through the day and not having a cigarette.
That’s the bottom line. 26 days is a long time to go to simply throw it all away for a tiny drag during a vulnerable moment.
As of right now, it would take something major to get me to relapse again.
Hopefully, that moment never happens, because I love living a smoke-free life. It’s so much more rewarding than leading that other life.
I’ve accomplished more since quitting than I would’ve practically all year long as a smoker. It really is true.
You’ll never know until you find out.