Well, I’ll be honest with you. Today was a piece of cake.
But there is a huge reason why it was so easy.
Today I got 3 cavities filled at the dentist. Not the most painful visit in the world, but it sure did numb my mouth for a good 4 hours. Plus I could barely open my mouth. I really didn’t have any cigarette cravings at this time.
Who would realistically?
But that really is beside the point, because I’m sure if I hadn’t had a dentist appointment today, the cravings would’ve been in full swing. But, they weren’t.
I had a few moments of withdrawal, but they subsided within a minute or two. They didn’t last long, and I immediately knew what they were.
However, there is one thing I thought of during the day that struck me hard.
I was thinking, “What would I be doing right now if I were still a smoker?” That is an excellent question.
What would I be doing?
I would’ve still gone to the dentist, yes, as that appointment was made a long time ago.
But what would the last 6 days had been like if I had never quit? What would I be feeling right now?
I’d probably be feeling pretty horrible. In fact, I know I would be.
If I had never quit, I know I would’ve tried to quit 6 more times.
I never accept being one, because I hate it so much.
I can’t even stand the thought of going to bed with a couple of cigarettes left over for the morning. If I do that, then I’m screwed for the entire next day, so I have to get them wet or destroy them the night before.
It’s a ritual, but I refuse to accept it.
I probably would’ve gotten drunk at least 3 or 4 times in the last few days as well.
Whenever I try to quit smoking and fail, I punish myself by drinking a lot, so I’d feel as horrible as possible the next day.
Not because I’m a problem drinker, but to teach myself a lesson about smoking and staying quit.
Though the idea is somewhat logical, the follow-through is almost always a failure.
Feeling horrible the next day brings negative thoughts, which makes relapsing once again even easier than before.
The cycle continues.
I know I have more money now than I did before. I’ve put every penny into the bank since I’ve quit. Of course I haven’t saved much, as it’s only been a few days, but I haven’t spent it on foolish things, either.
My apartment is beginning to smell clean again.
I noticed my bedroom still has lingering ashtray smell inside, but that will go away with time. After all, I smoked in my bedroom for 8 years straight.
Most of the time the windows weren’t even open. I’m sure the walls are stained.
I’m also much happier now than before. There are a lot of positive things happening in my life and it seems like the pieces of the puzzle are putting themselves together finally.
It’s a great feeling.
The sun is shining, tomorrow is my day off, I’m going to get lots of things done (which most likely would not have been done before) and I’m looking forward to it all.
Now I have to remember that tomorrow is only Day 7, and I still have 2 weeks to go before nicotine is out of my body for good.
So I still need to focus hard, even if I don’t feel a thing. I need to play this smart, and come out victorious.
This isn’t even close to being over yet. But I’m happy I’ve made it this far.
It feels really good to be in this position. I can’t imagine what Day 100 will feel like, but I’m going to give it my best shot. I deserve it!