Day 27

Today was a pretty good day.

It was definitely better than yesterday, with all that anxiety and stress. I had off today, so I had none of that.

I hung out with a friend, went out to lunch, enjoyed the day, and didn’t really have any cigarette cravings at all.

So, all-in-all, it was a good day.

I still haven’t managed to re-insert myself back into the gym. The gym used to be my second home.

I know it’s what I should be doing, but I just haven’t had the courage to take the first step. I keep making excuses not to go.

I know that once I do start going on a regular basis, my mindset will change even more.

Right now I have no intention at all to smoke cigarettes. I’ve got a good chunk of days under my belt, and I’m not about to throw it away over something stupid.

The gym just reinforces every positive thought in my mind. It’s a good place to zone out and think about life, and where you’re headed.

It’s a place to think positive thoughts.

I did plan a running excursion with my friend for every Friday morning. Hopefully that works out, because that will be a very smart move to make.

It will force me to get out there and start exercising. I know that once I start doing it, I’m going to love it and it will change my life.

Personally, I can’t wait until I’m going to the gym on a regular basis. I’m ready to get in the best shape of my life.

I’ve always dreamed of being a really muscular person. That’s always been a goal of mine, though smoking always got in the way.

I remember about 6 years ago I went to the gym religiously day in day out. But I was also a heavy smoker who didn’t put as much effort into things as I should’ve.

You see, when you’re a smoker, and you’re in an environment in which you can’t smoke, all you think about is leaving and going outside to have one.

That’s the reality of it all.

Sure, you can run 30 minutes on the treadmill, and do some other exercises, but in the back of your mind, you are craving a cigarette and you can’t wait to leave to have one.

That’s what my life was like.

Sometimes I’d leave after 30 minutes. I just didn’t care. All I wanted to do was leave and go smoke in my car.

My car smelled like an ashtray, and so did my gym clothes.

I certainly wasn’t a healthy person just because I went to the gym. Far from that, actually.

What’s the point in going if you’re just going to chain smoke as soon as you leave?

Yuck!

A little while after that I got bronchitis, and I definitely learned my lesson from that experience.

I quit after that and it lasted about 5 months, because somehow nicotine found it’s way back into my life. My mindset was not strong enough, and plus I was young.

I was still going out multiple times per week, so that didn’t help any.

But that’s way in the past, my mindset is much stronger now. I’ve relapsed 100’s of times since then, so I know what’s really going on.

It’s all one big lie.

You don’t need to smoke. You don’t need to inhale. It doesn’t prevent or take away any anxiety or stress. It doesn’t calm you down. It’s doesn’t taste or smell good.

It just isn’t cool.

It’s all one gigantic lie and nicotine won for many years. It takes a strong person to figure everything out.

You can’t just be a heavy smoker one day, and randomly decide to quit the next. It just doesn’t work that way.

You have to know, at the bottom of your heart and soul, that you will do ANYTHING it takes to succeed.

Years ago, I wasn’t willing to do anything. This time, I am ready.