Well, there is good news and bad news.
The good news is that I made it through today. The bad news is that I had an awful, all day long, allergy attack. I get them every spring, but for some reason today was a really bad day.
I did wake up craving a cigarette, though not as bad as yesterday. Today was slightly better because I was well rested.
Once my allergies kicked in, the cravings stopped all together. But that is not because the actual nicotine withdrawal stopped, it’s because the allergies took control of my feelings.
When I look back, I find it impossible to be having both an intense allergy attack, and craving cigarettes at the same time.
Allergies always overrule the cravings.
Why is that?
Allergies mimic sickness when the symptoms get severe. People always ask me “are you sick?” I tell them no, I have allergies.
Most people just don’t get it, because they don’t have them, so therefore they could never understand fully how I feel.
Work was basically miserable from the time I arrived until the time I left.
Itchy eyes, runny nose, intense sinus pressure, I had it all. I didn’t truly become 100% relieved until I got home in my own relatively safe environment.
But once my allergies stopped I started to crave cigarettes. It’s the exact same feeling you get when you quit smoking while you’re sick.
Sound familiar?
I almost biffed it.
I was downloading some new music and my mind was trying to convince me to light up while listening to the new album because it will be “cooler” if I do.
I’ll enjoy the music more. That’s what it tells me!
That everything fun and exciting will be better if I inhale.
I had even put my socks and shoes on to go across the street to the convenience store. I had basically given in to nicotine.
The mental games were so intense that it seemed like the right thing to do at that moment in time.
But then I took one last step back. I thought to myself “Do I really want to blow two days for just an hour of smoking?”
In reality, that’s what it would’ve been.
It would’ve just been me puffing away for a couple hours and then throwing the pack away like I always do.
I’m so glad I managed to sit back down and re-think things through.
It was probably the strongest craving yet since I quit. It literally had me walking out the door, but I managed to succeed.
There are some things that definitely helped me today, it’s not all will-power, but this section is mainly to talk about the symptoms of withdrawal, and what I felt throughout the day.
Tomorrow is technically the worst day of the entire process of withdrawal according to most sources. I think the worst is the first day.
Day 3 is probably when the mental games are at their strongest.
It’s tough now because it’s still painful, but once the intense pain stops:
That’s what to look out for.
You let your guard down when you feel good.
Ironically, that’s when you should be your strongest.
I realized how much I disliked feeling comfortable. I liked cigarettes because they helped ease discomforts like anxiety. So I thought lol. like you I’ve quit and relapsed several times. Quitting was always very uncomfortable. I am now telling myself its character building / growth to be uncomfortable sometimes.
Day 2. Uf. I did not like this day. It was particularly hard. Cravings were bombarding me almost non stop, and I was flirting with an dea to lit it up again, but somehow as well realised that it will do no good as it is my second relapse this summer. So now off to sleep and hopefully tomorow will be better cravings wise. Though, I’m sure that after tomorow things will start to ease up a bit, now it is at its full intensity.
Just finished up day 2. Today was a bit of a challenge. Like on Day 1, I felt kind of dizzy and zoned out. I tried to keep myself busy and even took a nap because not smoking is making me sleepy. Then I had some minor aggravation with something in the afternoon and got in my car to run to the store for cigarettes but thought better of it and kept on driving and went for a ride. My “habit” cigarettes are the hardest ones to forget about; after I have a meal, after I come home from being out, etc. But I’m trying to the best of my ability to stay strong. I’m not going on vacation to Hawaii in 4 weeks as a smoker.