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You are here: Home / Reasons to Quit / How Smoking Zapped My Confidence and Self-Esteem

How Smoking Zapped My Confidence and Self-Esteem

Filed Under: Blog, Reasons to Quit 4 Comments

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I smoked for a good 20 years.

Back in high school, I had no problem doing a skit in front of the entire student body.

Sure, I was a little nervous, and that’s completely normal for anyone, but I never had anxiety attacks or panic, and I certainly didn’t have any confidence or self-esteem issues.

That only began happening later on in my life.

“It probably started 6 or 7 years into my nicotine addiction.”

I began to have anxiety attacks at work, and I really had no clue what they were at the time.

I just felt very off, almost in a state of panic, and for no reason whatsoever. It was hard to be myself during those episodes, and it certainly zapped whatever confidence I had at the time.

I couldn’t smile, couldn’t make conversation, and could barely make eye contact with anyone. I was in zombie mode.

I blamed it on nicotine withdrawal, first and foremost, which is correct, although I was in no frame of mind to quit all together.

After doing some research and going through multiple episodes, I concluded it was from smoking.


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Anxiety attacks never happened before when I was younger, so it had to be from smoking.

I was smoking at least a pack a day at the time.

So as the years progressed and I didn’t quit or do anything about it, the symptoms became worse and I was living through withdrawal all day long.

I was having anxiety attacks almost everyday.

There was a time when I blamed anxiety on gluten, as that is a trigger for some people, but at the end of the day, that notion was just nonsense to the real trigger that was at stake, and that’s smoking.

“By continuing my addiction, I was just basically giving myself anxiety attacks, and taking away my confidence in my everyday life.”

When I’m constantly in a state of fear and panic, even at odd times and for no apparent reason other than withdrawal, it’s really hard feel normal.

I had gotten myself into that mess, and I was only making it worse the further on I went. I knew that every time I relapsed, I would have to start all over with all the anxiety again.

That meant crippling my everyday life, and it showed at work and in my social circles.

I really wasn’t rising to the top in my employment fields, or getting promoted.

Maybe they thought I was too insecure. Maybe they thought I wasn’t confident enough to handle a manager position. Maybe I was more of a follower and not a leader.

“To be perfectly honest, they were right. Smoking took away all those things from me.”

The grasp of addiction turned me into a slave of the drug, and nothing else.

Only when I quit did things start to turn around.

When I finally did quit, it was amazing how quickly things turned around. I’ll probably never be where I was before I started smoking back in my teenage years, but I get better everyday.

Each morning I wake up, I am more of who I am supposed to be. I’m more of who I am meant to be.

Sure, I have my bad moments just like everyone else does, but I’m certainly not living in panic mode like I was.

That was really a nightmare.

I blame cigarettes for it all.

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Filed Under: Blog, Reasons to Quit Tagged With: confidence, self-esteem, zapped

Comments

  1. Joh acidic says

    October 29, 2020 at 10:48 pm

    Hey smoking gives me confidence that i admit but i just smoke indoors such that not a single person should no. The driving factor behind my smoking is me being an introvert, loneliness so cigarettes sort of give me company

    Reply
  2. Roee says

    July 3, 2020 at 11:48 pm

    i must say that i completely relate to what has been said in the video. my friends doest understand how much affect it has on me, but i feel it. i quit smoking and thee self esteem and confidence are rising. i feel much much happier 🙂

    Reply
  3. Martin Olsson says

    March 16, 2018 at 7:56 am

    Thank you for the video. And thank you for your blog 🙂 I’m on day 11 right now. And I can relate to what you are saying on the self-confidence. I Googled the effects nicotine has on the it, but I only found your video and some other stuff .. I was always a funny guy back in the day when I was a non-nicotine addict, I can remember, and every time I have tried to quit I feel I get the self confidence back, to make the jokes, to make other people smile, to talk to people… In Norway we use something called snus, and its small pouches of nicotine you put under your lip… The problem with Snus is that it’s no documented lung/heart damage, so it makes it a little harder to find reasons to quit. You could actually sleep/shower whatever, with a pouch of snus in your mouth. The reason why I quit is I don’t want anyone to control me, other than me. Nicotine is in control of my life right now. And every day I get a little of that control back, and I can feel my self-confidence coming back.
    I also sleep better! Before with the nicotine I could sleep 8-9-10 hours, still tired when I was supposed to wake up and go to work… But now, I jump out of bed after 6-7 hours with no problem

    Reply
  4. VICTORIA says

    January 15, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Thank you for sharing your experience with smoking and cessation. My experience mirrors yours completely. I’m only on Week 1 and I agree. You must really want to quit! It’s hard work, but feeling empowered and confident as a result is profound. My smoking most definitely affected my mental health and ability to connect with others. Looking forward to a new way of life.

    Reply

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